I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
