you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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