Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
