the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
