i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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