Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
