their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
