Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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