Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
