you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
