I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we're making bets on your personal life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
