that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
