Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Come on in and take your pants off
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