garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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