white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
