Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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