3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Girls should come with a carfax report
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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