Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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