That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
worst night to have a conscience
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
