dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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