We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
