My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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