omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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