They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
nutella sex= disaster
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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