dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
God, I missed his penis.
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