maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
