Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize