and you said cock pushups were impossible
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
