i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
