Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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