The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
