Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I need to sanitize my soul.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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