I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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