Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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