so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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