How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
