Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
