To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
