Can Purell be used as lube?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
