this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
