i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
