Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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