go do what you do best...puke behind churches
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
