I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
