You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize