Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
