i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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