did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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