i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
