so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
