i think my mom watched the whole time
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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