On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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