Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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