After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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