i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
