I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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