I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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