and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I need water and some morals
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
