you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
