I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
