Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
