spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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