girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
