Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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