I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
