I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
