What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize