oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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